InsaneJournal

title: I've Never (Until Now)
pairing: Seamus/Harry, with vaguely mentioned Seamus/others, and Justin/Ernie
rating: nc17
wordcount: 2963
summary: a drinking game gets Seamus far more than he could have asked for.
author's notes: 1) whilst it's not truth or dare, it's still a cliche, which should fulfill my promise to saib for more 2003-style happy cliche fic. 2) I've decided there is a dampening spell on drunkenness at Hogwarts and you have to drink a gallon's worth to get the same affect a few mixed drinks outside Howarts would give. 3) this is from my OTP challenge, in which i choose an OTP of mine (in this case Dean/Seamus) and write both characters in other pairings.


Seamus smiles contently. This is exactly the kind of seventh year he'd planned on having, and even if seventh year is his eighth year of schooling because of a batshit tyrannical half blood that had a grudge against other halfbloods, it's still okay. Friends surrounding him, and games played with alcohol, what more could a man want?

"Why are we doing this?" Blaise grumbles, answering Seamus' question. A man could want a little less whinging from the others in the room.

"Because if we don't start showing unity between houses they're going to dissolve the houses and just room us in massive dorms by year, and no one wants to have thirty room mates." Justin starts.

"And we figured better this sort of unity then working together on final projects," Ernie adds. "We can claim we really did make friendships, because everybody's chums when they're plastered."

"This doesn't feel like being on enemy territory to you?" Blaise questions. Seamus figures he has a reason for the feeling, everyone sitting inside the Gryffindor common room.

"Makes the most sense, we've got half the Gryffindors but only a few of us. Just be glad the Ravenclaws didn't show up, they get so naggy when people drink. Constantly quoting Mothers Against Drunk Magicking, all the stats about accidents... such a drag." Ernie replies.

"Good point. We should start off with I've Never, it'll get everyone drunk quickly. The first few people should ask questions that most will drink to though."

"I've never sung along to a song I like," Dean offers.

Everyone lifts their shotglass to their lips and Draco nearly retches at his first taste. Seamus tries not to laugh at him, but it's hard. He's been drinking since he was old enough for his uncles to find it funny to force him to drink a can of beer, and it's strange to be in the company of someone that can't take their liquor. Pansy makes a sour face after drinking hers, and Seamus half expects Justin to pass out, the man is as skinny as a nail, there's no way his stomach can hold more then a ounce at a time. Once the glasses are tapped onto a flat surface they automatically fill up, as the level of liquid in the bottles around them go down.

"I've never screamed at the top of my lungs," Neville says, before drinking down his glass. Everyone follows suit.

"I've never drunk a shot," Justin says, forcing everyone to take a third shot.

Their forth is due to Ernie saying he's never fallen asleep in History of Magic, their fifth from Pansy saying she's never worn an article of clothing inside out by accident, their sixth from Blaise saying he's never had an argument, their seventh from Ron with he's never been in the Hospital ward.

Seamus considers starting the sex nevers, but decides it's too early yet. The only one looking tipsy enough to answer truthfully is Justin. "I've never had a nightmare."

Harry smirks and asks "Should I have two, then?"

Draco tosses his back and claims "I've never eaten three desserts in one meal."

There isn't one among them that disagrees, and then Harry's the last one up. "I've never hated someone in this room."

Everyone except Dean drinks, though after Ron swallows he chastises Harry for bringing the mood down. With the tenth shot, Neville leans forward and vomits on the carpet.

"Oh, that's pleasant." Pansy snipes.

"I'm gonna go to the loo now," he groans before stumbling out of the room.

And then it's round two, and Dean decides to make it sexual. Seamus feels a bit of pride for it being his best mate to start it. "I've never had sex."

Gleefully Seamus takes his shot, and watches the room carefully. Everybody but Ron and Draco drink. Ron frowns and looks from Harry to Dean. "That better not be my sister, either of you."

Pansy smirks. "What if I want to have sex with your sister? Can I?"

Ron's jaw drops, and Seamus shivers with the image playing in his head. The contrast of brunet and redhead is brilliant, rather artistic. Maybe he can convince Dean to draw it out for him.

"I've never smoked grass," Justin says. It's a bump in the sex questions system, and useless besides. Only Justin and Ernie take shots. Seamus wonders if anyone else in the room notices they're holding hands, most of the occupants are fairly drunk already.

"I've never made out in the greenhouses," is Ernie's contribution, and much more to Seamus' liking, as it makes everyone except Harry take a shot.

"I've never kissed a boy," Pansy says, and takes her shot. Seamus hears a sigh of relief, though he's not sure who. It's obvious that Pansy's heard it too, she clarifies her statement. "Who is not a relative."

Seamus watches most of the occupants, completely unsurprised when Justin and Ernie both take a shot, slightly moreso when Blaise does. Reluctantly he swallows his own shot, but the only reaction he gets from Dean- the only person who's reaction he cares about- is a hearty slap on the knee.

Blaise offers "I've never got a spanking," with a smirk. Seamus starts giggling when Ron and Pansy both drink with the Slytherin.

"Yeah, mine wasn't from my mother," Pansy sneers at Ron.

"Yeah, mine wasn't either," Ron tries to sneer back at Pansy, but as drunk as he is he can't contort his face properly. Harry goggles at him, and Ron attempts to explain but probably makes it worse with "Lavender, you know. Right kinky bird. So, uh, I've never wanked in the loo."

It doesn't surprise Seamus in the least that every person in the room drinks. He searches his mind for something incriminating, something he wants the answer from another person. He stares directly at Dean, "I've never had a threesome."

He drinks and Blaise drinks, but Dean doesn't. Seamus is oddly happy for that, aside from thinking that he and Dean don't talk about sex nearly often enough. Draco comments that he's never gotten hard playing Quidditch, and Seamus can't help but laugh as Draco and Harry both take their shot. Harry's staring at Ron, eyes almost pleading, anyone can see he's asking Ron to lie so he's not alone with Draco on the activity, but Ron is oblivious.

"Sorry, I like it but not that much."

Pansy pipes up "That's an unfair question. Sexist, I didn't have the slightest chance of drinking!"

Judging from how red in the face she is, Seamus is pretty sure she's drunk enough, even with alcohol being at half strength in Hogwarts. Draco's clearly irritated by the interruption, he snaps "Fine, I'll do another. I've never stuffed my bra."

Pansy knocks back a shot, ears flushing with embarrassment. "Just you wait." Seamus rather likes the sound of that.

Harry has the last question again, and succeeds in making everyone drink with offering that he's never gotten horny in the middle of class. It's then that Justin and Ernie stand up, fairly capably considering they've had sixteen drinks.

"Sorry. Don't think we're not grateful for avoiding starting up another chess club. But me and him need to get some sleep."

"Why? It's only a little after midnight. What's the rush?"

"We have early morning detentions. We got caught fucking by a prefect after curfew. We're legally adults, but seventh years are still able to yell at us for breaking curfew, how sad is that?"

Harry looks stunned at having a real live gay couple in the Gryffindor common room, and Seamus decides not to tell him the participants of his threesome earlier in conversation were Alicia Spinnet and Colin Creevey.

"Those bastards! Stopping you from snogging. 'Cept it's always the blokes that want to snog each other. Stupid gay blokes. Gay blokes are bastards! You're all bastards!" Pansy rants, and Seamus finds himself laughing nearly hysterically.

"I think we best go back to our dorms too. But we should try this again. With alcohol, of course, I doubt we could stand each other if we were sober." Blaise informs them bluntly. He waves his wand at Pansy and mutters a spell that makes her float in the air. She starts kicking and screeching, and it takes Draco adding his own power by repeating the spell to make her stay in the air. They shove open the portrait and she eases out of it, bobbing a few times when Draco and Blaise crawl out themselves.

"I guess we might as well go to bed." Seamus offers. He leaves the few empty bottles on the carpet, sure that the house elves will pick them up before anyone wakes up in the morning, but brings the half full ones with him. Who knows if they might continue on upstairs?

It's not a good sign when Seamus and Ron have to help Dean up the stairs, an arm tossed around each shoulder. Harry walks behind them, and for some reason he's giggling like a maniac. Listening to him makes Seamus start laughing himself, his body shakes and Dean starts wavering. Seamus tips back and it starts a domino effect, all of Dean's weight is thrust onto Ron, who stumbles and Dean's arm slips off his shoulder, and with no one to support him he falls straight backward, back shoving into Harry who goes down like he's been Avadaed.

As a group they tumble down the stairs, Dean directly on top of Harry. As soon as Ron can think, he shoves the bigger man off Harry. "This would be a good time for Hermione to be wrong about apparating inside Hogwarts," he mutters, but Seamus disagrees. If they tried, they'd only lose all the body parts they weren't concentrating on, there's not a chance any of them are capable of apparation.

"Harry, you go first." Seamus orders. At least if they fall again Harry won't be smashed a second time.

They make it to the dorm without further trouble, though their placement of Dean on the bed is going to make the man ache in the morning. Ron strips and crawls into his own bed, closing his curtains without saying goodnight.

"Dean squashed me," Harry complains, sitting on Seamus' bed beside him.

"Yeah, I saw."

"It hurt."

"If it hurt, you weren't drunk enough." Seamus replies. He holds out a bottle and shakes it to get Harry's attention when he just stares at it. Harry doesn't need any more alcohol, he's a mess as it is, but Seamus has never been one for doing things in moderation.

Harry takes the bottle but doesn't open the top. Instead he fiddles with the wrapper, hesitating before asking "you took a shot when Pansy asked about kissing boys."

"Very observant," Seamus laughs, then takes a swig from his. The alcohol content should be enough to kill any germs he leaves on it. He's drunk, but not drunk enough that he's going to fall over, which is how drunk he likes to be.

As the bottle lowers Harry darts forward, but as tipsy as they are neither man has good reflexes. Harry's forehead bumps Seamus', and when his arm knocks the bottle Seamus lets a bit of it spill before he notices and tilts it back upright. Harry apologises and continues his move forward, lips landing on Seamus' dryly before pulling away. Seamus knows laughter is the wrong reaction but he can't stop himself; a gurgle escapes his lips. Harry's face falls and he sways as he starts to get off the bed.

Seamus carefully puts the bottle on the floor beside him before lunging forward and throwing his arms around the man's hips. Harry is so thin he's as light as a balloon, it's easy to capture him and drag him back onto the bed. "What, are you going to hurt-"

He cuts Harry off by returning the kiss. Arms still locked around the man, he falls back until his head hits his pillows. Harry sprawls on top of him, eyes wide with shock.

"So you do want to kiss? Why'd you laugh then?"

"Wasn't expecting a forced group friendship to end in snogging. 'Specially not when you looked so horrified about Ernie and Justin."

"Not horror, horny." Harry explains before wriggling his body higher so he's face to face with Seamus. His breath reeks of liquor but Seamus knows his must too, and that doesn't stop Harry from plunging his tongue in his mouth so Seamus goes with it.

When he finally pulls his head up, breath stale and warm on Seamus' cheeks, Seamus is sure he's just realised what a mad thing he's just done. He figures Harry for running, maybe even waking Ron up to make the larger man protect his honour. Instead the man whispers with a grin on his face, "Want to fuck me?"

"What?" there's no way he's heard correctly.

Harry adjusts himself on top of Seamus, and suddenly he can feel Harry's erection. He clarifies "I think you should fuck me."

It must be the intoxication that makes it seem only natural to agree. "Okay. Sure."

Harry clambers off him and strips efficiently, though he struggles a bit pulling his t-shirt off. His pants drop to the floor easily enough and he steps out of them without stumbling.

"Do wizards use condoms? Could never ask Ron. You heard him earlier, he'd think I was having sex with Ginny."

"No, there are spells. One to not get pregnant, one to not get diseases, one to use lube. The default smells like strawberries but adding a different suffix changes it." Seamus is amazed he's retained the ability to remember spells, but then he's used them enough.

"And then there's this." He waves his wand at Harry and prays for the right inflection.

Judging by Harry's shiver it works, even through his drunken haze. It's a spell meant to loosen tight muscles after sports or cramping, but it works just as well on virgins. He doesn't want to hurt Harry but there's no way he has the patience to take care of it himself.

Harry watches Seamus as he arches his body to sneak the jeans from under his arse. Once past that barrier he writhes on the bed in attempt to kick them off his calves. Boxers off, he opens his legs and beckons Harry to him.

Harry climbs on top of him again, briefly sitting on his torso before inching backwards. Seamus nearly swallows his tongue when in one rapid motion Harry slides down his cock. Seamus watches Harry's face for signs that the spell wasn't good enough, he wants to fuck but he'll stop if it's hurting Harry. But Harry doesn't show any signs of pain, in fact when he's settled fully he clenches his muscles and as intoxicated as he is, Seamus can hardly stop himself from coming.

Harry lifts his hips up then rams himself back down and Seamus draws blood from biting his lip. It's important he at least attempts to stop himself from screaming. It would be a horrible thing to wake up Dean or Ron. Dean would look at him strangely, and pleasant reaction to earlier confession aside, he'd probably be a bit freaked out. Ron would undoubtedly kill him for taking Harry's honour.

Harry tosses his head back, hair bouncing with each pull-up-push-down. Seamus is transfixed by the movement, it's something to focus on besides how desperately he wants to come. It occurs to him that for this to be a good first time for Harry, he should participate. As Seamus begins moving himself in time with Harry, the brunet starts whimpering. His head arches back and the muscles stick out on his neck. Seamus feels the urge to lick the flared skin, but knows he'll collapse if he sits up all the way to reach them.

It isn't long before Harry leans to one side, supporting all his weight with his left hand so he can touch his cock with his right. Each upstroke makes Harry clench hard around him, spurring him to orgasm. Seamus wants to cry out that it isn't fair, he's not normally this weak in bed, but instead he lets himself give in. The fuzzy warmth of pride pales in comparison to his body melting in the heat of orgasm, when he can only have one it's obvious what wins.

His arms give out as he comes; he collapses backward, head hitting the soft pillow. The air around him goes pixelated for a moment before returning to normal. Seamus knows it's common courtesy to help the later partner, but he can't move his arm to give Harry's cock a pull, he's lost all control over his muscles. He does hope Harry gets on with it though, he's rapidly softening inside the man and soon won't be of any use.

By the time that Harry spurts over his torso, Seamus is almost asleep. Still panting, Harry crawls off him and stands, using the post as a support when his legs don't completely hold his weight. Seamus' vision is a bit blurry from the alcohol but he's fairly sure his come is slowly drooling down Harry's thigh.

"You can sleep here, if you want," Seamus murmurs. For a brief moment it makes sense, even if Ron and Dean would throw a wobbly, to snuggle the person he's just shagged.

Harry shakes his head once, then retreats. Seamus doesn't follow his movement, isn't sure if he's going to clean himself up or straight to bed. Deciding he'd rather deal with a dried sticky mess in the morning then get out of bed to shower now, Seamus pulls the blanket up over his wet chest and quickly drifts to sleep.